You Hurt My Feelings

GoMovieReviews Rating: ★★★

Rated: MA15+

Directed by: Nicole Holofcener

Written by: Nicole Holofcener

Produced by: Anthony Bregman, Stefanie Azpiazu, Nicole Holofcener, Julia Louis-Dreyfus

Starring: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Tobias Menzies, Michaela Watkins, Arian Moayed, Owen Teague, Jeannie Berlin.

‘We’re so lucky.’

You Hurt My Feelings finds Beth (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) finishing her second book; a work of fiction in follow-up to her somewhat, ‘it-should-have-done-better,’ lamented by her mother (Jeannie Berlin), memoir.

It’s Beth’s wedding anniversary.  Having dinner with her husband Don (Tobias Menzies), a therapist, it’s obvious that husband and wife have a loving, solid relationship.

‘You’re a good kisser,’ Beth tells him.

It’s sweet.  Too sweet for son, Elliott (Owen Teague) who works as a manager, selling marijuana while finishing writing his first play.

Beth is desperate to get her hands on the script but he’s not sharing, just yet.

Elliott feels his mother has lied to him, overestimating his talents growing up.

And finds his parents’ sharing their food a ridiculous habit.

You Hurt My Feelings is a film about family and how each individual fits into that dynamic.

Beth and sister, Sarah (Michaela Watkins) spend a lot of time together, discussing the important things in life, ‘Should I be buying better socks?’

It’s a deceptively simple film.

Then the sisters overhear Don telling Mark, husband to Sarah, how he doesn’t like the second book.

Beth is devastated.

It’s like the worst lie has been told to her face about what is her foundation of self: if Don doesn’t like her book, how can he respect her?

The style of the film allows the characters space, as they each struggle to overcome the obstacles of every-day life: Don second guessing his ability as a therapist leads to some of the rare funny moments in the film, ‘for some reason he doesn’t want me pointing at him,’ says one client about her husband partnering her in therapy but seemingly, not in life; arguments the never-ending melody of their relationship.

Beth’s brother-in-law, Mark (played by Arian Moayed) is another point of light as an actor who wonders if he still has what it takes, only remembered for his supporting role in, ‘a movie about pumpkins.’

Interior designer sister Sarah wonders what’s the point when a client doesn’t understand her taste, or more that she doesn’t understand her client’s taste.

It’s a film about the individual’s struggles in life and how Beth processes the deception of Don constantly telling her he likes the book, when he really doesn’t.

There’s a lot of space here, for the characters to be themselves, the expansion and growth of each character the foundation of the narrative.

But that space is created with mundane dialogue, ‘Wait mum.  Do we have bagels?’

‘I don’t know, I’ll check.’

Yes, the honesty is sweet, the psychology of the family subtle, leaving a feeling of the authentic, the performances making the most of the dry every-day.  And there’s a feeling of completion, a resolving and growth when the pieces of drama click into place.

But I thought it would be funnier.

You Hurt My Feelings is a bit New York, more drama than comedy and more about socks than expected.

‘Adorable?’ as sister Susan keeps exclaiming?

It grew on me.