Directed by: Brad T Gottfred
Written by: Brad T Gottfred
Produced by: Corey Moss, Brad T Gottfred
Starring: Calum Worthy, Cody Ho, Andi Matichak, Kyle Jones, AmyMarie Gaertner, Lauren Elizabeth.
Promoted as a mystery-comedy, The Boonies follows five seniors at Boone High School somewhere in America, unwillingly reunited seven years after they were once on the same soccer team. The reason? A dead classmate’s video promises a treasure hunt with a million dollars as the prize, taking place inside the college where they will be graduating the next day.
The limited expertise of the film’s technical crew is obvious, as though someone with little film experience thought it would be fun to gather together some friends with only passable technical skills and see how things go. The result is a repetitive, awkward and unentertaining mess, probably aimed at an 18-25 year old demographic but not likely to appeal to anyone over 14.
The group is called “The Boonies” by their dead classmate Doug (Calum Worthy) because he thought the gang was similar to the Goonies (but without their humour, charm or sleuthing skills). Doug, sporting a daggy fringe and an irritating smirk, was a techno whiz kid and inventor before being killed in a car explosion in the college car park, witnessed by all his former friends. He also had access to various sections of the college that were mysteriously closed down, which he repurposed with lots of secret doors and a room devoted to electronic surveillance equipment, ideal for hosting a treasure hunt.
The others in the gang are Teddy (Cody Ko), seemingly the most normal of the group but hiding a Guilty Secret; Chuck (Kyle Jones), a drunken, moronic cowboy with sex on the brain; Holly (Andi Matichak), with a photographic memory, rampant hysteria/tantrums, and a bosom so noticeable that practically everyone calls her derogatory names based on her breasts; Stephanie (Lauren Elizabeth), the bitchy, sexually promiscuous, spoilt girl who constantly yells at and abuses everyone else (so much so it is a mystery why anyone tolerates her); and Elektra (AmyMarie Gaertner), who is now a soulful Goth trying to evade her psycho ex-boyfriend who keeps threatening to kill her (which is apparently meant to be funny).
The dead Doug communicates with his five former friends by text, challenging them to complete the treasure hunt because, as he tells us in one of his many straight-to-camera monologues, he wants them to atone for how they treated him after their group fell apart. He has three conditions they must follow: 1. Keep together; 2. Stay alive; and 3. Confess one horrible thing they each did to someone else in their group, all before the night ends.
This premise, such as it is, had the potential to show the remaining five former friends gradually working together, overcoming their problems and reigniting their friendship in adulthood – in a believable way.
The problem is that each of them, aside from Teddy and Elektra, are thoroughly unlikeable stereotypes, and their success or otherwise isn’t something I could get invested in.
Chuck talks a lot about vaginas, sex and being easily aroused, while the object of his lust, the screaming and abusive Stephanie, is so vile it made her character totally unsympathetic. Her bullying treatment of the gormless Holly, she of the noticeable breasts (since we as the audience are never allowed to forget these exist) is horrible, and I wondered why no one was prepared to call her out on her appalling treatment.
Much of their abusive dialogue was, I assume, supposed to sound snappily sarcastic or humorous, but instead it fell thoroughly flat, was often cringe-worthy and just inappropriate in this age of the #MeToo movement and online bullying.
The Boonies face external threats as well, from three groups also intent on finding the million dollars. This is meant to add to the tension, but the jerky editing and woeful soundtrack detract from this.
One group is the Ex-Cheerleaders, who like wearing their cheerleader outfits and arming themselves with golf clubs; their motivation for being so keen to inflict harm on the Boonies is never properly explained.
Another group, the Outcasts, is led by Elektra’s homicidal ex-boyfriend, and has the uncanny knack of being able to find the Boonies no matter how often they manage to escape.
The third group is the Silver Skulls, bikers with their own reason for wanting the million dollars.
Whenever one of these groups confronts the Boonies, threatening bodily harm, the disjointed editing, intrusive soundtrack and shouted dialogue all work against any potential to build tension or suspense.
I scare easily but there wasn’t one genuine moment of danger that increased my pulse rate. The plot was often confusing, the direction awkwardly paced and most of the action or motivation was illogically played out.
I enjoy witty, well written and acted mysteries and/or comedies, and when I read this was a mystery-comedy, I was intrigued. But there are so many things that don’t work in this film, including the unlikeable characters, the abusive, lame dialogue, the lack of strong or believable motives for most of the cast, the amateur acting (except for Elektra) and the absence of any real sense of danger, mystery or suspense, that I was totally disappointed.
Apparently this film was made in 2017, and I wonder not why it took two years to release it, but why it ever saw daylight at all.
